Fates Worse Than Death
Welcome to Chris and Joe's place.





08 October 2004

Holy Shit

On the off chance that even one person might check this, after my months upon months of not posting...

What the fuck is wrong with our president? Within 90 minutes, he refers to the "internets," refers to his opponent as "Senator Kennedy," and asks the moderator if he "need[s] some wood." That last comment was made somewhat flippitantly, in an attempt to throw off a comment Kerry made about his being a partial owner of a lumber yard. Bush's initial reply to this was, I shit you not: "That's news to me."

That's news to me.

Fuck. When your opponent knows your own financial situation better than you do, it's time to sit down and do some serious thinking about what you're doing, what you hope to accomplish, and what you think about your chances of succeeding.

President Bush, I'm not calling you an incompetent idiot who is only going to make everything worse...No, wait. That is what I'm saying. That is exactly what I'm saying. So please, for the love of God, walk away. You've done all you can. There is no longer any point in making anyone suffer through your...Well, let's just say your unusual command of the language, nor your "My dick is bigger than everyone else's" style of leadership. You are hurting America. You are making us less secure, and dividing us more bitterly than Clinton dreamed possible--which must be hard work.

I don't know. I'm actually rather speechless. I'm also tired, and ill, so I think I'll just go to bed now. I wonder how the spin will sound on Monday...

posted at 11:24 PM by Chris

05 September 2004

Not dead yet

Some might say this blog is getting a bit boring. But we know it's not, right? Just look at this fresh post!

Thanks. Now go read Daily Kos.

posted at 2:39 PM by Joe

18 February 2004

Bush Deploys National Guard To Defend Marriage

---Fox News Special Report---

In a surprise move earlier today, President Bush took bold action by deploying the National Guard to San Francisco to defend the isntitution of marriage.

In a prepared statement this afternoon, Bush defended his action by proclaiming that he had "exhausted all other possibilities" in defending traditional marriage. While he would not say what prompted this action, his statement seemed to indicate that is was in response to San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom's order that marriage licenses be granted to same-sex couples.

"We've had this problem with judicial activism for some time now. As I've said, if the only way to reign in activist judges is to codify marriage in law as between a man and a woman, then so be it. There is a new threat to traditional marriage emerging, however, in this executive activism. Legislative activism is a grave and gathering danger, and we cannot wait until it becomes imminent. And so, I have taken the action necessary to defend the institution of marriage, because it's important that the people define what marriage is, and not their elected officials."

The Guard, however, seemed uncertain of how to proceed once it arrived in San Francisco. Local residents began to complain almost immediately, saying that their presence was intrusive and unnecessary. When asked by reporters whether the National Guard would be effective in this role, Bush cautioned against "denigrating service in the Guard."

There was an incident almost immediately after the Guard arrived, however, when one of the same-sex couples was recognized as members of the Guard who were not currently active. They were immediately arrested, and are to be transferred to Guantanamo as enemy combatants. While the President would not comment specifically on this incident, Bush did say to no one in particular, "You are either with us, or against us. An enemy of the Guard is clearly an enemy of America."
When reached on the issue, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said, "Do I think it's wrong for American Guardsmen to be actively working against their own unit? You bet I do. Look, this war against Homosexual Activism isn't like any other war before, and we have to go about it in different ways."

When questioned later, Rumsfeld said he could not
recall making that comment, exactly.

posted at 8:00 PM by Chris

18 January 2004

Pimping Ain't Easy...

But it sure is fun.

Anyhow, I just got back from Iowa. Your two humble hosts decided we should do what we could to support the Dean campaign on this, the day before the Iowa caucus. So, we got into my 1998 Monte Carlo Z34, and headed to the first major(ish) city on the other side of the border--Mason City, population 29172. We went assuming we'd be sent door-to-door to bother people, and we were...Well, let's say that idea didn't thrill us. It was cold outside.
"How cold was it?"
It was so cold that we really didn't want to be walking outside!
(bada bing!)
Well, much to our delight, we were offered positions calling folk instead. And it wasn't even just random phonebook calling or some other such nonsense. We were calling people that had, at some point, expressed an interest in or support for Howard Dean. Not all of them were still on the Dean camp, but many were. Anyhow, we were basically calling them to inform them about where the caucus for their precinct was located. We stayed for a few hours, and called probably a few hundred people each. Changed a few minds. One guy was so impressed with my politeness that he decided he was definitely going to go to the caucus and vote for Dean. Which, if you think about it, is a pretty odd reason to vote for a candidate. Glad for the support, however.
I did call two dead people. That kind of sucked.

So, yeah. That was fun. Well, no, it wasn't all that fun, but I certainly don't regret it. It was fun in retrospect, if not at the time.

So, then we left. We didn't really know where we were going on the way out, and wound up driving down a somewhat minor little residential street. We happened across a large bus with the words John Edwards written on the side in rather large letters. It was parked next to a small mall. So, we found a parking spot and decided to see if anything was happening. There were definitely a lot of people congretaging around one room. And, sure enough, there in the center of everything was John Edwards, easily the most charismatic of the eight candidates. We couldn't hear much of his speech, but it was fun to watch. So, he shook some hands, and Joe got his autograph. Then, he walked out of the room, and gave another short speech to the folks who had been standing outside, unable to hear. Then, he left. It was cool.

And that, as they say, is that.

Just a few more months until Super Tuesday. Just a few more hours until Iowa. The suspense is tangible.

posted at 10:14 PM by Chris

23 December 2003

Fuck Wal-Mart

Just in case any of my hypothetical readers don't think that Wal-Mart is freaking evil, go have a look see.

Buy American my ass.

posted at 7:06 PM by Chris

04 December 2003

Some time ago, fellow Kosling WendellGee made this diary entry. I was a littoe bored at work today, so I decided to see what I could come up with. So, here it is.

This should be sung to the tune of James K. Polk, by They Might Be Gaints. If you don't know it, you should give it a listen. Not for the sake of my meager little sing, but because it's a good song by a great band. And it has a solo done not be a guitar, but by a singing saw. Yes, a saw. Like you use to cut things.

Anyhow, here it is.

In Two Thousand and Four, the Democrats were split
The nine nominees for the Presidential candidate
Included Senator John Kerry,
A Viet Nam war vet
And the Elfin Kucinich
Joe Lieberman, a moderate
Wesley Clark, a general and multilateralist
From Montpelier came a great surprise
Dr. Howard Dean, the Governor of Vermont.

Austere, sincere, he held the people dear
His oratories made his allies cheer.
But the party couldn’t see
He’d be just the man they’d need
To bring about victory
Reverse international animosity
And return us to fiscal reality
And yet, the people know the answer was
Dr. Howard Dean, the Governor of Vermont.

Month after month, he crushed fundraising goals
Won Iowa, New Hampshire and many of the polls
His Meet-Up numbers swelled
And the Democrats beheld
His electability
His campaign’s ingenuity
And his stalwart faith in our Democracy
And when the vote was cast, the winner was
Dr. Howard Dean, our 44th President
Yes, Howard Dean, the Governor of Vermont.

Yes. Well. Let me know if you like it.

posted at 3:40 PM by Chris

24 November 2003

Kill the state of Virginia

"As we said from the get-go, the death penalty is reserved for the worst of the worst," prosecutor Paul Ebert said.

It's always sad to see one go, but the state of Virginia is about to kill its 90th person in a 21-year killing spree. That makes it the second most prolific serial killer in the U.S. It's time for Virginia to go, for it's among the worst of the worst.

Why are we the only Western democracy that still has state-sanctioned killing? Children of age 16 years can still be executed in 16 states. Twenty-six states allowed mentally retarded people to be executed until the recent Atkins vs. Virginia decision by the U.S. Supreme Court [full text of opinion].

So even if you don't think it's inherently wrong for a government to kill its citizens: what's the benefit of capital punishment? It's not a deterrent. A person is not a threat to public safety if he or she's in prison for life without the possibility of parole, and that method is cheaper anyway. It's impossible for a new trial to be held should new evidence arise or new technologies emerge to provide insight into a case, as in the situation of this guy.

posted at 1:32 PM by Joe

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